Friday, January 30, 2004

Ummm, George W. Bush is being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize... Is there something wrong with this picture? Didn't he just invade a country, and massacre hundreds of people because he had bad intelligence? And now he is the leading candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize. It's like nominating Jack Kevorkian for Doctor of the Year. Sure Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, but there are countless other bad guys out there in the world, and we're letting them go. I don't know. I think the world has gone mad...

"You’re like a big bear, with claws and fangs, fangs man. Big fuckin teeth, yeah man with fuckin teeth on ya. She’s just like this little bunny who’s just kinda cowering in the corner. Shivering. Yeah man just kinda….. And you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself with these claws, you’re thinkin now how am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny, and your poking at it. Yeah you’re not hurting it, you’re just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean. and the bunnies scared mike, the bunnies scared of you. And you got these fucking claws man and these fangs man, and you’re looking at your claws and your looking at your fangs and you’re thinking to yourself I don’t know what to do man, I don’t know how to kill the bunny with this you don’t know how to kill the bunny. Do you know what I mean? you’re like a big bear man."

This monologue from Vince Vaughn in the movie Swingers exemplifies the mentality that a man has to have in order to have enough balls to approach a woman in a bar. It can be a terrifying experience... I remember my attempts at talking to women in my early 20's, it was excruciatingly painful sometimes. Not that I'm a pro at it right now, but I can hold my own, at least when inebriated.

Thursday, January 29, 2004


I went to see Lost In Translation with Clare, Brooke, and my brother. I came in with an open mind; but I was reserved because I wasn't too impressed with Sofia Coppola's "Virgin Suicides". But this movie blew me away. From the opening visual of Scarlett Johanssen wearing a pink see through panty, as she was lying on her bed sideways. The beauty of the movie was between these two characters, trying to discover themselves amidst a strange land. These are two people that shouldn't have anything in common, but stuck in Tokyo, they are lost. I've always been fascinated by stories of two strangers meeting up in a strange land. I could feel their confusion through everything. It is a funny and relevant movie for our generation. Visually, Sofia Coppola is growing up to become a fabulous director. She also wrote the script, and I was impressed by her great control over visuals in her language. She captured the craziness that is Japan, and that can be very difficult to grasp.

Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen have a wonderful chemistry in this movie. It's always tricky to capture a romance between an older man and younger woman, it usually becomes too creepy and cheesy. But this movie doesn't allow for that to happen, you experience their connection with each other with innocence. They are in two different times of their lives, but they are confronting similar questions and problems.

You need to see this movie... you will laugh, and you will smile...

Tuesday, January 27, 2004


Steffi and I doing the customary snapshot while stuck in traffic in L.A.

Steffi and I at the Eaton Canyon waterfalls. It wasn't a long hike, but it was a definitely a beautiful stroll through the canyons.

If it's not utterly and weirdly obvious yet, for some strange reason Steffi and I have gravitated towards each other for the past few weeks. I've known her for about 9 months, but she seemed so shy and reserved, that I didn't really get to know her. The past few weeks I've definitely gotten a chance to get to know her better, and it has been a treat and a surprise. We're both recovering from a traumatic relationships, and we have some scars, but we're also healed, and we're pretty optimistic about the future. She is very balanced and stable, which complements my stability as well. I certainly hate drama in my life. How this all pans out? Who knows. I don't want to create too much of a big deal, it is still very early for us. I just like to spend time with her...

Can my life get any stranger....??

Our plan to go to Mardi Gras is getting closer to fruition. Brook is now interested in joining us for the celebration at New Orleans. So let me get this straight, to hot girls are joining me to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, I must've died and gone to heaven. I am looking forward to this 10 day trip. Since missing out in Berlin a few months ago, I've been itching to travel and explore new things in my life. I am definitely very eager to drive through the heart of Texas and the great American Southwest.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: About A Girl (Nirvana), Le Monde (Thievery Corporation), Trouble (Coldplay), Friend of the Devil (Counting Crows), Love In Traffic (John Digweed), North Atlantic Drift (Ocean Colour Scene), Gramarye (Remy Zero), and Loving You (Minnie Riperton).

Monday, January 26, 2004

- Rode the trolley at The Grove with Steffi, Alec Baldwin and his kids.
- Ate wonderful sushi at A'Float Sushi in Pasadena.
- Hiked over to Eaton Falls, and watched a beautiful waterfall.
- Played RISK (The Game Of World Domination).
- Shopped for vintage clothes at Melrose.
- Developed my anger and hatred for people who wear Von Dutch and Ugg boots.
- Lied around in bed and listened to music.
- Went to Daddy's in Hollywood.
- Had some Hurricanes with Steffi at Beauty Bar.
- Watched the movie, Blow.
- Had a good conversation with Brooke about life and everything after.
- Went to the pound and shelters and still no sign of poor Moss.
- Passed out for the entire day on Sunday.

Now that's a good weekend...

Polish Break-dancers invade the Vatican and dance in front of the Pope. The Pope seemed to enjoy the performace when he said "For this creative hard work, I bless you from my heart."

Friday, January 23, 2004

Could be
Who knows?
There's something due any day
I will know right away
Soon as it shows
It may come cannonballin' down through the sky
Gleam in its eye
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach
Down the block, on a beach
Under a tree
I got a feeling there's a miracle due
Gonna come true
Coming to me

Could it be?
Yes it could
Something's coming
Something good
If I can wait
Something's coming I don't know what it is
But it is
Gonna be great!

This song just from Westside Story just kinda fits the mood I'm in. I am feeling that heightened anticipation right before a thunderstorm. It's going to be an interested weekend...

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

"Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the road. One says, 'I've lost an electron.' 'You sure?' the other asks. 'Yes,' the first answers, 'I'm positive.'"

I couldn't sleep last night. I had too many thoughts running through my head. I tried to set myself at ease. I felt kinda anxious. For the first time in a while, I feel like I have something to look forward to. I feel ambitious. I am slowly feeling alive again. I'm trying to be as vague as I can here...

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us all to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

I went to San Diego to see Brook and Steffi, and get some R&R on the side. The weather was really beautiful there, it was very comfortable. I hung out with Steffi most of the time, because Brook had to work. And I feel like I really got a chance to get to know her. She's usually pretty shy and removed from people, which gives people a wrong impression of her. But sitting down with her and just talking with her, I learned that we had a lot more in common that I had previously realized. That's why I enjoy meeting people from other corners of the world, I love learning about their culture and how they grew up in their country, it just fascinates me.

After learning about our mutual desire to travel and experience Mardi Gras in New Orleans, we made plans to go to Mardi Gras next month. I was going to have to travel by myself to fulfill my New Year's Resolution, and now I have a partner, so I am quiet excited about the trip. I just love road trips...

When I got back, I found out my do is missing, which is pretty depressing; but I hope he shows up soon.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Circle of Friends (Edie Brickell), All You Can Eat (Ben Folds), In Your Room (Depeche Mode), Beached (Orbital), The Ordinary Boys (Morrissey), and Change Clothes (Jay-Z)

Friday, January 16, 2004

So I'm at work this morning minding my own business. Waiting for my paycheck to be issued so I can put it in the back. When this young beautiful blonde walks up the counter and asks for help. As a dutiful employee, I rushed over to provide some assistance. And we struck a nice conversation. And we just kept smiling at each other. It was kinda suck. She was kinda young, so I didn't want to push the envelope too much, but we were definitely flirting with each other. After a few minutes, I think she realized I wasn't going to ask for her number, so she excused herself and smiled at me and walked away.

I have finalized plans to come down to San Diego and hang out with Brook and Steffi. I think its going to be a lot of fun. I just want to have a stressless and relaxing weekend away from L.A. and visiting the girls down there I think will do me good.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Sunrise (Norah Jones), This Love (Maroon 5), Remembrance (Caia), You Don't Know My Name (Alicia Keyes), Reptilia (The Strokes), Show Me How To Live (Audioslave), Vasoline (Stone Temple Pilots), and Where Do I Begin (Chemical Brothers).

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

"Never leap frog a unicorn."


So I was watching The Real World - San Diego last night because I was bored out of mind. And of the cast members, Frankie, revealed that she has fear of big boats. She literally gets an anxiety attack after seeing a cruise ship pass by the window, and she had to cover her eyes. She had to run around freaking out, and cry in the bathroom because she has a fear of big boats. Well later on the episode she learns that her housemates and her will be working on a yacht. Which totally freaks her out more... Mind you that the house they live in is right on a pier in San Diego, where there will be countless ships passing by it everyday. Where do they find these people? Oh by the way Robin is hot... It's going to be a good season of The Real World.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

What do people really think about you? by Raven319
favorite song
Parents thinkYou're too sensitive
Strangers thinkYou're smart
Friends thinkYou need a fuck buddy
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Monday, January 12, 2004

I'm kinda getting sick hanging out in L.A. for the past few months, and I need to get out of Dodge real quick. So I'm planning an escape to San Diego to see Steffi and Brook this coming weekend, for some R & R. I just need to shake up the monotony of my lifestyle, and that's always good. And San Diego is a nice town to mess around in for a little bit.

We had our farewell celebration for Jenny this weekend at the Tam and Goldfingers. I got pretty drunk, and I was pretty sure I got the girls pretty giddy as well, and we danced the night away. I have a feeling that the next time I see Jenny, she's going to be a much different person, and I can't wait to meet her when she gets back.

But something occurred that night that really bothered me. While the girls were dancing on stage, some random guy came up to them and just grabbed their ass. And the girls were pretty ticked off. I didn't see the incident and came by just as he was leaving, but I should've been there to kick his ass. Not that the girls need any protection, it's just that I should've been there to protect the flcok. Maybe it's my paternal habits for these girls that struck a chord with me. Who knows...?

Scientists have discovered that the same family of chemicals that produces a buzz in marijuana smokers may be responsible for the euphoric high that some people get when they exercise.

High levels of anandamide were found in young men who ran or cycled at a moderate rate for about an hour. Anandamide is a cannabinoid, or lipid molecule, that is naturally produced in the body. It is known to produce sensations that are similar to those of THC, the psychoactive property in marijuana.

This explains that euphorica I feel when I run... I've been talking about it for the past few months, and this proves it. Maybe when I run the L.A. Marathon I'll actually hallucinate... That would be so cool...

Click here for the article

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (The Postal Service), Painted Rock (William Orbit), Sheila Take A Bow (The Smiths), Misty Mountain Hop (Led Zeppelin), Secret Garden (Bruce Sprinsteen), Daniel (Elton John), Setting Sun (Chemical Brothers), and Cross-Fire (The Bens).

Friday, January 09, 2004

I couldn't sleep last night. It was weird, I laid down on my bed, and nothing happened for a good three hours. Usually I just pass out after a few minutes. And I was tired too. It was probably because I've had a lot on my mind lately. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things at work. And there are still some things that I have to think about.

Tomorrow will be Jenny's Bon Voyage Party, and I plan to give her a much deserved send off. We're going to start off and drink a little bit at the TAM, and then make our way out to Hollywood and dance at Goldfingers. Can't go wrong with that...

I think I have reached an impasse for my second book. I am like trapped in this snowy field of oblivion. This writer's/artist block has been going on for a while, I'm still writing, but it's all just a bunch of hogwash. There seems to be nothing pertinent escaping my fingers when it strikes the keyboard. I don't think it's from a lack of imagination or inspiration, or worse laziness. Maybe I need to drink some more beer or wine, but this book needs to get half-way done soon. I can almost feel the shadowy figures of my editors and agents creeping their nagging ways into my life. I have no luxury of messing up this time around. My sophomore effort has to best my first book.

I'm trying to hard to recall how I finished In The Blink Of An I and that seemed like a long time ago. I remember having to isolate myself a lot writing that book. I don't know if I want to go through all that again.

Now, I'm getting hungry, Ima get some of the 99 cent Fish Tacos from Rubio's. Yummy!!!

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Where Is My Boy? (Faultline), Papua New Guinea (The Future Sound of London), Don't Be Afraid (Moonman), Dig Your Own Hole (Chemical Brothers), Be As One (Sasha), Your Song (Elton John).

Thursday, January 08, 2004

For some reason the past few days I've been really listening to Elton John. When I heard Tiny Dancer in the movie Almost Famous, I had became quickly enamored with that song. But I hadn't really sought out his music until the past few days. And he's a wonderful songwriter, just great lyrics to his song "Your Song".

"And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world"

OK, what the fuck is going on with me, I'm listening to Elton John and Clay Aiken?? Am I becoming too gay for my own good. Good God! Quick! get me a football, beer, and some porno mags. Maybe this warrants a visit to the nudie bar, I haven't been to the nudie bar in a long ass time. I think it's because I've been hanging out with way too many girls the past few weeks. I need to assert my manhood...

I was talking with Jenny last night, and she's leaving for Europe next week. She plans to stay there for a few months. And I was instantly envious of her. I don't think I've quiet recovered from having to cancel my Germany trip, and I still have a lot of ill feelings about the circumstances that happened that led me to cancel the trip. But that's life, you'll have disappointments and setbacks, and you just have to deal with them and move on with life. After meeting Brook last week, I feel like I am slowly progressing and healing through the pain, and I feel hopeful for the first time in a while. I feel ready to meet new people again, and go out there and explore the world. Those are the things that make me feel alive. I want to travel and experience new things and meet new fascinating people. The world is my oyster, and I refuse to let anyone fuck up my path.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

As winter is slowly creeping its cold tentacles upon the land, I've found myself goal setting for the new year. I surprised myself by meeting all the goals that I gave myself last year, so I am starting to believe that this goal setting thing might not be a bunch of bull after all. I want to challenge myself more this year, so here are my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Finish the Los Angeles Marathon in March
2. Participate in a major event that's in my list of things to do before I di: Mardi Gras, Spring Break in Lake Havasu, or Burning Man.
3. Maintain my fitness, and reach my goal of 150lbs.

This shouldn't be that hard... should it?

One (U2), Nothin' (N.O.R.E.), It's My Life (No Doubt), Strong Enough (Sheryl Crow), Milkshake (Kelis), When Doves Cry (Prince), Closing Time (Semisonic), and Central Reservation (Beth Orton)

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Just like Lazarus, I feel like I just woke up from the dead. The flu really knocked me out good this year, I was sidelined for a good two weeks. I am slowly getting my strength and endurance back, but it was quiet a battle. I lost 7 lbs from the flu, and weigh a fragile 170 now... I am still probably 10 to 15 lbs away from where I want to be.

This year's New Year's Eve Celebration definitely makes the Top 3 in my life. It's somewhere between Philadelphia 2000 and Newport Beach 2002. Steffi and her roomate, Brooke, came up from San Diego to join me for a great celebration. But on the way up, Brook's car decides to break down, and so when she got to my house she was pretty distraught. But we instantly hit it off, it was as if we've been friends for a long time. We both definitely noticed a great chemistry. We were both a little wild, adventurous, and full of energy.

So after a mixing a few drinks for the ladies we were off to McMurphy's in Old Town Pasadena. McMurphy's is an Irish dive bar that used to frequent 4 years ago. And we rollicked our way through all the Rose Parade revellers camped out in Pasadena. When we arrived, Brook, Steffi, and I proceeded to get pretty wasted. We danced and cavorted all night. We all celebrated the New Year simultaneously, and went crazy. Around 1am, Brook looked like she had way too much to drink, so Steffi and I carried her back home.

I was roughing it pretty bad on New Year's Eve. I was snotty all over and nasty, because I was still recovering from the flu and stuff. I was not shaven at all, so I wasn't at my best, but it didn't matter we had a great time anyway.

Brook and Steffi were supposed to spend only one night at my pad, but because of car problems they ended up spending a few extra days with me. And we just had a slumber party. It was rainy and yucky during those days, so we just rented some movies, drank some beer, and cuddled up in bed. I was pretty impressed with Brook, because even though she had all these car problems and such that would drive most people nuts, she didn't panic and she just enjoyed her time with me. I respect that. When everything around you is falling apart, are you able to put things in perspective. And she was able to do that...

Brook made quite an impression on me, and I think we're going to be friends for a while....