Thursday, July 29, 2004



I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed that I was waiting inline to enter this ultra sophisticated club, only to be denied entrance. As I was leaving, Jay-Z comes by befriends and me and takes me into the back entrance of the club. We share some Cris, and we talked about art in the club's kitchen. The dream was very lucid which is very unusual. I could taste all the food that was being cooked around me. Jay-Z and I were just drinking and talking about art, literature, and poetry. I don't know what this all means, but it was definitely a strange dream.

I really don't have problems approaching a girl, or asking for her phone number, usually it's because I'm a little tipsy. But it's not often that I actually follow through and call back that girl. I have been contemplating the past couple of days about calling and asking this girl out. There was something that struck with me when I met her that night. I don't know if it was the music or if it was her whole presence. I had ample opportunities to hook up with other girls that night, but I somehow became focused on this one. I even remember when one of her friends had to leave, I asked her friend if she had a boyfriend, and when she said no. My eyes lit up like a green light on an intersection. I'm also feeling nervous about calling her, which is something really cool. I should be nervous. It's the nerves and awkwardness of the whole thing that makes the whole process appealing. If I wasn't nervous, she obviously will not have that affect on me.

And for all those that gave me the hate mail about the 562 area code, I understand that the 562 is not the O.C. but since it is a borderline area code, a lot of residents from the O.C. use 562 for their cell phone number so that they won't be associated with the O.C. But I'm smarter than that... 562 is pretty much O.C.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


Avalon was rocking last night. I never really liked Avalon because it will always be The Palace to me, but last night was definitely off the hook. Not only did I see an inspired performance by Paul Oakenfold, but Crystal Method, JunkieXL, and BT, I had a great time hanging out with friends and making new ones. They were all there to celebrate the addition of Best Electronica/Dance Artist as a category for the Grammys. JunkieXL impressed me a lot, he definitely had everyone warmed up for the night. Paul was mediocre, he wasn't bad, but he wasn't great either. Crystal Method had a decent set, but BT was impressive. I've never really got into BT, but after this show BT and JunkieXL definitely has found a new fan. Music was so off the hook, my ears are still ringing.

While dancing around to some great electronic music I met a girl. I know I've met my share of girls stumbling around the clubs and bars in Los Angeles, but for some reason something struck me about this one. She had the whole Liz Phair look going, which really attracted me. I really wanted her number. Although we couldn't really talk much, too damn loud. We exchanged pleasantries, and I think her friends found me non-threatening. So when BT was finishing up his set, and her friends grabbed her to leave, I took her aside and asked for her number, and she gave it to me. She actually dialed her number and called it to show me that it wasn't a fake number (By the way she does have a 562 area code, which means she could be from the O.C. Yikes!)I haven't been smitten by a girl in quiet a while.

SMITTEN (smit-ten) 7. To strike or affect with passion, as love or fear.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004


In my 28 years of existence, I've never really had any serious problems with body hair. When I was in high school, I shaved my legs, and that was pretty embarassing because I had really girly legs back then, but being an asian guy and all, I am pretty much hair free below my head and above my waist (except my armpits of course).

A few months ago, while fooling around with an unnamed person, I started to become a conscious about my ass hair. Thoughts started to creep in my head that something had to be done. Don't confuse ass hair with butt hair folks, these are two different issues. There is no hair on the surface of my butt, but if you delve deeper in the nether valleys of assdom, you will find a thick forest that could challenge those in Costa Rica.

So a couple of days ago, I decided to bring out the razor and delicately remove all the ass hair. Once the secret operation was done, and a few sore muscles from having to position myself in bizarre poses, I felt refreshed. My ass was like a newborn baby's buttocks. It was like the skies had cleared up. It was like God opening his arms and welcoming me to the gates of heaven. I slept like a peached.

It wasn't until the next day that I started to discover some problems. First of all there is a reason that God gave man ass hair, its called friction. I started to notice it when I started walking to downtown Glendale for my standard lunch. My ass started to feel weird and uncomfortable. I could also feel the stubble of each strand of hair growing back and piercing my smooth ass. I was wearing my jeans that day and it didn't help. I couldn't sit properly in my desk after that. It was a very uncomfortable experience. I tried to ventilate my ass as much as I can by pulling down my jeans and fanning a cardboard sheet on it. It was like my ass was on fire.

It has become torture. My ass now feels like I'm rubbing two pieces of sandpaper against it each time that I walk or sit down. I'm sure when the CIA hears about this form of torture they will be using these methods for their captured enemy combatants in Guantanamo Bay. So if you didn't learn anything today, please make this a your number one lesson, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS DUMBFUCK!!!


Monday, July 26, 2004


This was a long and physically draining weekend. Saturday I pretty much baracaded myself in my room so that I won't do anything stupid. Then on Sunday we had our big Softball Tournament. I had problems sleeping on Saturday night, I was finally able to sleep at 4am. We had our softball tourney at 9am, so I had about 4 hours of sleep. This was a chance for us as a team to find out where we belong in this crazy co-ed softball world. Let's just say we don't belong in the elite. After dominating much of our C/B League, we finally faced the cream of the crops in southern California co-ed softball, and we got our asses wooped. We finished dead last out of 12 teams. And we were only competetive in one game. We all played our worse game of our lives. I struck out three times in three games, which I do not do.

My body is full of bruises, scars, and scratches; and we return to our little league tonight and hopefully we haven't lost a little bit of our confidence.

After the softball games, I went to see Crystal Method and Nortec Collective at the Hollywood Bowl. And just had the blast dancing the night away with some good electronica. Which then got me all hooked up to see Paul Oakenfold tomorrow night.

Friday, July 23, 2004


OK, now I'm fucking excited. I am officially going to Burning Man 2004. I got my tickets today. I will be going with Chris and his sister, and they actually have their own theme installation at the community. This is a once in a lifetime experience for me, and I can't fucking wait. I also think Burning Man will help nurture some inspiration for my writing. These are some of the communities that will be present in the Burning Man 2004.

- SNUGGLETOWN - Come enjoy the soft cushions and sensual beauty of the Snuggletown! Snuggledome! Bring a friend (or 5) and enjoy the Snuggle space with an open heart and open mind. The Snuggledome is for exploring the depth and pleasure of true intimacy such as eye gazing, sensual touch, kissing, trading massage, tickling, gentle caresses, giggling, and whatever other gentle fun you can dream up - without the pressure of sexual interaction or sexual come-ons. The Snuggledome! is "safe space" and requires permission before any interaction begins as well as appropriate and respectful behavior.

- BATHROOM CONFESSIONAL - Do you have any sins that need forgiving? Cleanse your soul and your hole at the Bathroom Confessional. Drop your load onto the one friend who always takes your shit, and get it off your chest and out of your colon once and for all. Absolution is only a flush away!

- MAKEOUT MONDAY - Ahhh, kissing. How overlooked and underappreciated is this fine art? Well, no longer. Today is all about kissing, caressing, toungue-wrestling, french kissing; basically sharing the soft, sensual lips of another fine person. Have no shame...I want to see everyone making out everywhere! Make out with at least 3 people today.

I just love the idea breaking down boundaries, and breaking down moral codes. Mardi Gras was like that, and Burning Man will be that as well. I'm getting chills running down my spine just thinking about all the wholesome goodness...

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


Famed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking says black holes, the mysterious massive vortexes formed from collapsed stars, do not destroy everything they consume but instead eventually fire out matter and energy "in a mangled form."

So what does this all mean? Bottom line is that, black holes may no longer be the links to other parallel universes. It was once theorized that matter collapsing inside the black hole may be released in another parallel universe. This theory created a paradox in scientific thinking. Hawking now believes that all that matter swallowed by a black hole eventually gets released back into the universe in "a mangled form."

So if I jumped into a black hole, my existence doesn't necessarily die, because billions of years later all the information about me gets released back into the universe in a mangled form. God! I love astronomy!

I was looking at some pictures from last year, and its amazing how much weight I freaking carried back then. I was carrying 70lbs on me, how the hell was I able to function in society? It's a remarkable difference. I definitely feel a lot more athletic and healthy, something I haven't felt since I was in college. Dropping 70lbs. was definitely the most rewarding experience for me during the past two years. This past weekend when I was hanging out at Huntington Beach, I was actually able to take my shirt off and not feel too self-conscious about it. That was cool. I've had people at the gym asking me for workout advice and weightloss advice. But I really have none. I believe all our bodies are different and react differently to certain things. My best advice is to try everything until you find a program or system that works for you. For me it was simply running, and not eating rice.


I know I've kept my mouth shut long enough in this blog. But the Dodgers are in first place, and are pretty much the hottest team in baseball. I don't want to jinx my Blue Crew, so I'm just keeping my mouth shut. It's like someone pitching a perfect game, you don't want to spoil it by talking to them. But is that October I smell...

Monday, July 19, 2004

I love throwing stuff. Since I was a kid, I have always had a knack of throwing things that I could get my tiny hands on. I used to just sit in the backyard and throw stuff against the wall to pass time. This habit of throwing stuff eventually developed into a skill. As I started playing baseball, I was able to throw a ball faster than my peers. I really didn't know what I was doing but I sure loved to throw a ball. During 8th grade I was invited to join a high school travel team, but having a good fastball wasn't good enough, my coaches wanted me to learn to throw a curveball.

I was struggling to master the curveball. I would aim at the head of the batter and hoped and prayed that it would break. But I threw so hard that the ball wouldn't break, and instead it would hit the batter. All the kids from my team and my neighborhood refused to stand in the batter box for me so I could practice my curveball. The only guy that I could convince to stand in the batter's box was my brother, Wowie. I promised to buy him an ice cream cone every time I hit him with a baseball. I wrapped him with 6 layers of clothing, a football helmet, and a pillow on his elbow. Mind you, that I was doing this during 100 degree weather during the summer. But he wanted his ice cream, so he let me practice on him. At first, I was hitting him every 3rd or 4th pitch, and he began to get angry, but the promises of ice cream were still enough to entice him to stay. After a while I got the hang of it, and my curveball started to consistently break. And the rest as they would say is history.

I went on through an injury-plagued high school baseball and Division III career, where I believe I totalled 50 innings of work in an 8-year amateur career. But I credit a lot of my development as an athelete to my brother, who was willing to stay in there despite being nailed by 70mph beanballs, all for the sake of ice cream.

What happens when you mix one jackass, two Farrelly brothers, and a Nutty director? A comedy set in the world of Special Olympics. Johnny Knoxville brings his unique talents to the comedy The Ringer from producers Bobby and Peter Farrelly, John Jacobs, and Bradley Thomas. Knoxville will play a lowlife who tries to make money by fixing the Special Olympics. Director Barry Blaustein (The Nutty Professor) takes the helm of the Fox comedy in development at Conundrum Entertainment.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Biological (Air), Colours In Waves (South), Magic Love (Bent), After All (Delerium), Company Calls (Death Cab For Cutie), Underwater (Tegan And Sara), and Sparks (Royksopp).

Friday, July 16, 2004

you are like sitting in a bar
with your legs crossed like swastikas
shooting your white flares at me, 
aiming your fiery smile,
drinking a good drink,
armed with a rusty broken compass,
and looking at the simple ways of life
that runs outside that window,
strumming your guitars like rusted pillars.  
i wait for your conversation but listening to steven patrick,
hearing the frying catfish
and drinking the stale ale
of tomorrow’s regret
sour like cherry hemlock.  
i await your kiss
to not arrive again.
and tonight it does not seem enough
that the stars are still shining
through the jilted smog.  
you are so like a naked venus
along, playing with currents
of the afterglow; i think
you have killed too many flies,
when you pawned that pearl necklace
your last american boyfriend gave you;
so badly
swallowing in battered folic acid.  
you sold the prince
on his hands and knees
for an empty cardboard box,
as he was waiting for the kite,
with no twine
dangling in the sky
seeing lightning strike twice…

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The summer doesn't officially start for me until I end up on the beach and surfing. So this coming weekend will mark the beginning of the Summer of Love (somehow every summer always ends up as the summer of love). I will be going to Jessica's bday bash at Huntington Beach. And despite my uttermost contempt for the O.C. I am actually looking forward to getting on my surfboard, watching some beautiful women, and getting pissed drunk. There is nothing better than drunken surfing. It's like driving while your under the influence without the paranoia of being pulled over by a cop. I'm waxing up my board, and I'm ready to break out my summer clothes. I also think it's time for me to corrupt some O.C. girls (insert Dr. Evil laugh here).

It's become official, Shaq has been traded for three stiffs. It's been eight years since the legendary Jerry West brought Shaq to Los Angeles. And I still can't believe that when the 2004 season begins Superman will no longer be patrolling the paint for my beloved Lakers. I've never liked Odom or Grant, but I want to look at this whole situation as if the glass is half full.

So here is the best case scenario for the Lakers. Kobe Bryant resigns with the Lakers, and proves everyone wrong by becoming the second coming of Michael Jordan. Brian Grant becomes Horace Grant and Dennis Rodman embodied in one soul. Lamar Odom morphs into Scottie Pippen. Vlade Divac signs with the Lake Show and becomes Luc Longley. Caron Butler becomes a more athletic Steve Kerr and John Paxson clone, and the Lakers win four more world championships, and Kobe laughs at the NBA and his critics.

Worse case scenario, Kobe signs with Clips, Clips change their name to the Lakers, Lakers change their name to the Clippers. Jerry Buss tricks Donald Sterling into trading franchises one one one. And the new Lakers with Kobe, Maggette, Brand, Wilcox, and Jaric win four world championships.

That's not too bad.

CURRENTLY DAYDREAMING ABOUT: sitting on a beach, sipping a margarita, and watching the World Poker Tour.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I was listening to Kevin and Bean this morning on KROQ during my morning drive, and they were discussing the splitting of 909 as a zip code. Apparently the people who lived in Riverside didn't like the cultural implications of having a 909 area code. I used to live in the 909, and it is really the armpit of America. It's nothing but dirt, meth labs, cows, mullets, NASCAR fans, and the permeating pungent smell of crap.

I lived in Redlandtucky (Redlands) went out to the U of R, and it was pretty bizarre experience to hit up all the joints at the 909. The funny thing is when I lived in the 909, I found myself defending the place. When my friends queried me about all those things, I would always say I lived in the good part of the 909, all the rest of that crap was in Fontana. Then I realized Redlands was nothing more thant Fontana with a little bit better landscaping. Well starting this weekend, Riverside will now be using the 951 area code, not because they are running out of 909 phone numbers. They're changing area codes to escape the stigma of the 909. I'm so glad I don't live in the 909 anymore.

After running 5 miles, playing softball, and lifting weights yesterday, I didn't get home until about 10:30pm. And then I heard that Jem was going to be playing Craig Kilborn. So I waited, and waited for The Late Show. I really don't think Craig Kilborn is that funny, he had Mark Cuban on as a guest. And they were discussing the Shaq trade. And Mark Cuban admitted on the show, that in his discussions with the Lakers regarding Shaq, that Mitch said he didn't like anyone in the Mavs roster. Cuban even suggested that he was willing to part with Dirk Nowitzki for Shaq, but Mitch didn't want to do that; so instead we're stuck with three walking stiffs.

After watching all that horror that is the Late Show, I ended up finally seeing Jem performing "They". I've never seen her in perform before, and she had this little groovy dance as she sang. I kinda liked it. Her voice wasn't as good, but her band sounded great. I can't wait to see them live later this month.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Born Slippy Nuxx (Underworld), Cultural Assertion (Hernan Cattaneo), Love Buzz (Nirvana), In A Little While (U2), Pink Bullets (The Shins), Star Guitar (Chemical Brothers), and Meet Me At The Bottom (Longwave).

Monday, July 12, 2004

On Saturday, I decided to stay away from the bars, and joined some friends for some good old fashioned Texas Hold 'em Poker. We had the usual combatants. Before we started we watched Rounders, and decided to give ourselves nicknames after intelligence agencies (just like John Malcovich's character KGB). My nickname was Interpol, we had CIA, FBI, NSA, CSA, FISA, and others.

During the games we played, I realized that I was having a good night, I was getting hot cards and I was doing well. I made it to the money table where I was one one one with Thalia. This was the first time I had met her, for a good 45 minutes we both battled each other toe to toe. Neither one of us giving up a single inch or chip. Poker is a game where lying, acting, and reading people is crucial, and I could honestly say I couldn't do any of those three against her. But she couldn't do anything to me either. Our game ended up being a stalemate, we were both convinced that our game would have kept going on endlessly. So we shared the pot. But that was one of the more intense poker confrontations I've had with anyone in a long time.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

JULY 05, 2004



OK, just to point it out his birthday is in October. And he is my older brother. He will be turning 31. This just made me laugh. I am ver proud of him, he has never taken shit from other people, and he has been able to take care of himself and held a steady job longer than I have. He squanders his money on food, cell phone accessories, and pictures of girls, and other than that he has lived a happy life. He is starkly afraid of the dentist so we haven't been able to fix his front tooth, and he is so conscious about it that when he smiles he tries to hide his teeth, and it makes him look pretty weird. He has a buddha belly that everyone just loves to rub. I know one of these days, I'm going to have to go back to the Phil. and take care of him, but I actually look forward to doing that. I am lucky to have him as an older brother. And yes he is getting an ipod...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

For the most part I spent the entire holiday weekend by myself. I could have joined my family in San Diego, but I opted for the tranquility in Los Angeles. It was so unusually peaceful for a Fourth of July; all the rebel rousers had left town, and the meek had inherited the city. I took a lot of time just wandering throughout the city by myself. I also rented some movies (Cold Mountain and Pirates of the Carribean). I think for the past couple of months I have been struggling to find myself again. Having to sit down and write again can be frustrating when everyone around you, including yourself, has a reached a stalemate in their lives. I know I need to distance myself from some of the petty drama around me, and I really need to capture that fleeting moment of inspiration.

I don't think I need to disappear off the face of the earth like I did for my first book. I don't know if I will ever recover from walking through that darkness. I think the solitude I got from house sitting the past week, has allowed me to breathe a little bit, this whole suburbian lifestyle was really strangling me. I know I am a restless bohemian warrior, and I am beginning to feel a little shackled in my own house. I've been working so hard the past few years to create a home, and now that I have it, I still feel like something is missing. I can build as many patio decks or barbecue areas on this property and I know its not going to bring me closer to feeling at home.

Or is it perhaps that I am feeling the weight of turning 28, and seeing all my friends from childhood starting their own families. My friends are my family right now, but I know its not the same. I am not sure I am even ready to start a family; but I know I am slowly feeling left out by some of my friends because they are tending to their family gatherings and duties.

Whilst I was brushing my teeth, I walked through my backyard. It was dark, and I could hear the crickets chirp maddeningly; it's as if they were slowly whispering their sweet nothings to me. I wasn't listening. Amidst the darkness, a billboard hung on the horizon like a full moon. The smell of yesterday's fireworks is still meandering in the thick air. I took my feet off my sandals, and walked with my bare feet along the grass. It was slightly wet and soft, yet hard enough to hold the weight of my body without breaking a blade. It felt good to slide my charred feet along its grassy tentacles.

Every once in a while I would spit out the foam of toothpaste collecting inside my mouth, some had already run down my cheeks, making me look like a man with rabies. I had always hated to brush my teeth in the bathroom. It made it feel too much like a chore. I would usually sit in my living room and watch a TV show, or the news, or listen to music in my room, but I didn't want to just stand there and stare at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. I had never understood the point of brushing your teeth in front of the mirror. Do I really need to see where I am brushing my teeth?

Point is that walk through the backyard was spectacular. I really felt a little at ease, putting things into perspective. This whole entire universe can be such a farce, and yet we have an experience like that absolutely smothers senses, and can inspire us.

Movies I saw over the holiday weekend:
COLD MOUNTAIN = long, wrenching, bad southern accents, Jude Law is hot, Renee Zellwegger is not.
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKES BACK = complete waste of time, picked my nose a lot, and farted a lot throughout the movie.
PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN = funny, Keira Knightley is hot, Johnny Depp is hilarious, made me want to say 'booty' a lot. Yargh!
GHOST WORLD = Thora Birch has an awkward body, I felt guilty looking at Scarlet Johanssen's legs, difficult to get through, but worth the wait.
SPIDERMAN 2 = Kirsten Dunst looks cross-eyed, awesome special FX, great story, Doc Ock looked menacing, almost peed my pants from drinking too much soda, I need to see it again.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Must Be Dreaming (Frou Frou), Time Is Running Out (Muse), Northern Sky (Nick Drake), Fake Frowns (Death Cab For Cutie), 24 (Jem), How Good Can It Be (The 88's), and Biological (Air).

Friday, July 02, 2004

3. When the soldiers were describing their battle skirmishes as if it were a video game. Blasting "The Roof Is On Fire" by the Bloodhoung Gang in their tanks as they are assaulting Iraqi Civilians.
2. When George "Dubya" is notified that a second airplane has crashed unto the WTC, his face looked so clueless and helpless.
1. When the Marine recruiters went to the mall and Walmart to find minorities and poor young Americans for the military.


I have been listening a lot to Jem's music the past couple of months, and I have just fallen in love with her. She will playing at the Roxy later this month and I can't wait to see her live. She has worked with Guy Sigsworth (Bjork, Frou Frou), Madonna (Track 6 in the American Life album), and Geology (Mos Def, Talib Kweli). I haven't been messed up about music since I discovered Beth Orton. It doesn't hurt that she's beautiful. I'm going to put the moves on her if I ever get the chance.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

I was rummaging through Friendster today, and I made a search for C.H. And she was there. I haven't seen her in six years, and she looks as beautiful as ever. C.H. will probably go down as the girl that got away for me.

We met auspiciously ten years ago. My friend Christy was desperate to find a date for her friend for the prom. They went to an all girl Catholic school, so they didn't have much contact with boys in their social circles. I was suckered into being her date, and I expected the worse. I wanted to back out a couple times, and Christy pretty much had to coerce me to knock on her door. So here I am, knocking on the door, picking up a prom date that I have never met before, to go to a prom where I don't know anyone. When the door opened, her parents welcomed me warmly into their nice house. I quickly darted my eyes around for any family pictures on the walls so I could brace myself for the impending doom, but I couldn't find any. As I was waiting, her mom told her come down, and when I first saw her, my eyes lit up. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was simply beautiful. I had never felt so speechless and helpless in my life.

We got in the car, and we talked. We talked a lot. We smiled a lot. And we slow danced a lot. It was simply a magical night. The problem was that I had a girlfriend that was away at college (Yes, I went out with a college girl when I was in high school). So as we got closer, I became a little bit more hesitant.

A few months later after I broke up with my girlfriend; I wanted to date her so badly, and I felt like she did too. But I was going to be gone all summer at Stanford University for summer school. So we couldn't really start anything. While I was at Stanford, she sent me weekly care packages, which I loved. But when I came back from Stanford, she had met someone else, and I was no longer part of the picture. For the next 5 years we had kept in touch, but for some reason we never really consumated our romance. Until in 1999, where she finally got frustrated after she learned I got engaged. I haven't spoken to her since then, she sent me a card to congratulate me when my book got published. But after that we haven't really spoken or seen each other.

And now I found her again on Friendster. Should I break the ice, and contact her now?? (Damn she's looks hot!!!)