FEAR AND LOATHING IN HOLLYWOOD

FEAR AND LOATHING IN HOLLYWOOD
There comes a time in a person's life where he realizes that things have changed too much and there is just simply no way of coming back from it. I went to Avalon with some friends to see Sasha on his opening night of his L.A. residency; and throughout the whole night I just felt out of place and out of rhyhtm. It wasn't even much of a challenge to sneak in. I used to get a thrill in managing my way in to Avalon without having to wait at the lines. But I got through the security guards with little or no effort. I tried to even make it difficult by going on the V.I.P. line, and he didn't even bother to check my name, I was in like flint. That should've made my night, but it didn't.

Sophie and I drank a lot of juice before we came in, so by the time we got in, we hit the empty dance floor and danced like MC Hammer. While everybody around us was waiting to trip balls, we were just dancing our sober selves silly. I wanted to experience Avalon as a sober participant, I didn't realize that was going to be a mistake.

As always Avalon gets overbooked and by the time Sasha got on we were all just packed like sardines in there. There was really no room to dance, move, or even walk to grab a beer. The people were just annoying me. So after spending most of the night weaving my way through the mass of humanities' dog pile, I had to get out of there. I really felt like my days of hitting big clubs have passed me. It wasn't that long ago that I used to thrive in this environment. I was one of those people hovering like vultures in these clubs. Now, I feel very much like an outsider looking in. There is a lack of intimacy and genuineness in these environments. People are all the same, there are no characters, just parasites everywhere.

Sasha's experimental set wasn't inspiring at all, it was awkward and choppy. I was very disappointed, I expected a better performance. Perhaps he should go back to turntablism. I was out of Avalon by 1:30, and I was craving Taco Bell. Driving back home eating a Taco Bell burrito and quesadillas, while watching Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, now that made my night ultimately complete.

IT AIN'T BURNING MAN, BUT WOW...
The 2005 Coachella Art and Music Festival lineups have been announced, and Saturday night looks like the night to go. Check out this wet dream of a lineup on Saturday night: Coldplay, Weezer, Wilco, Keane, Snow Patrol, Rilo Kiley, Eisley, Armin Van Buuren, Hernan Cattaneo, and so much more. I think I'm going, I have to go...

SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!

SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!
OK I realized something last night. I think I've been taking things a little too seriously lately, after seeing some of my friends getting engaged or start a family during the past few months, it somehow affected me. I lost track of the fact that being single is supposed to be fun. I began placing agendas on people that I met, and that's not how things are supposed to be. I need to go back to the Ryan of a few months ago, where I was just eager and excited to meet new people and experience new things. I had no expectations of anyone and I was just willing to meet people for who they are. I have a lot going for me.

I have never been so fit in my life. I am able to sustain a pretty decent lifestyle with a career I don't mind doing for a long time. I have a generous vacation time that allows me to travel almost anywhere I want. I have wonderful friends that surround me. I haven't had a dull weekend in six months. What the fuck am I down about? There are people in this world that are struggling to eat and put clothes on their back, and I'm here babbling about women.

So I'm back on the saddle again... And what a better weekend to get back on the saddle. I'll be going to see Sasha's first night of residency at Avalon with Sophie and her roommate. It's going to a socialite's paradise. I hate Avalon and the people that go there, but to see Sasha live on his first night doing an experimental DJ set without turntables or CD's is going to amazing. You're going to have to pry me out of the dancefloor.

SINGLE IN L.A.

SINGLE IN L.A.
One of the hardest things in life has to be being single in L.A. L.A. is a tough city to establish solid relationships. Amidst the glitz and glamour is a city full of strangers wandering around in this sort of purgatory. The women are voracious, they have dagger looks, and can chew you up and spit you out without any hesitation. Almost of every girl you meet is looking for their big break, so unless you are well-connected in the industry your purpose in her life is nothing more than a tool to jump start her career. The waitress, the saleslady at The Gap, the bank teller and even the meter maid, they're all in the industry. As I see it, it takes about a year for a woman to be completely assimilated into the Hollywood Entertainment complex (which is kinda like the Borg), so I have to find these women and rescue them before they get swallowed up. Or maybe I should just join the other team... I know this sounds like musings of a bitter and beaten bachelor, but I am neither (Yes I am). Salvation NOW!!

BACK AND FORTH

BACK AND FORTH
(i don't like to be back)

You see things in life
And you're a bit surprise at what you see
Life, your whole life, is changes
You go through changes in your life
One second you've got it made
Next second you're down in the dumps
And it goes back and forth
Throughout your whole life
One second you've got the most beautiful girl in the world
Next second you don't even have a girlfriend no more
And it goes back and forth
And back and forth, you known
And this is life man, it's changes
This is what you gotta go through throughout your whole lifetime

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

And it goes back and forth
And back and forth, you known

Never...
Never...
Land...

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Whispering Wind (Moby), In A State (UNKLE), TKO (Le Tigre), My Friend (Groove Armada), Run Run Run (Phoenix), The Mess We're In (PJ Harvey), I Am Trying To Break Your Heart (Wilco), The Ghosts Around You (Longwave), and Jessica (Adam Green)

SLOPPY SATURDAY

SLOPPY SATURDAY
Saturday was a little too sloppy even for my low standards. All I wanted was to win at poker and put on my dancing shoes at King King. I lost a quick hand of poker, before getting really sloppy on the dance floor. I've had way too many sloppy nights the past few months, I need to clean it up a little bit. I have bizarre images and random conversations from that night, it's hard to even piece things together. At least I didn't throw up, or end up in a Turkish prison. I spent the rest of Sunday trying hard to recover while watching the ballgames, but I was hurting, I was hurting bad.

NEVER, NEVER LAND

NEVER, NEVER, LAND

I've been listening to the UNKLE CD for the past few weeks and the songs are just haunting me. I haven't felt this kind of apprehension from music since Radiohead released KID A. Despite the absence of DJ Shadow in this record, James Lavelle has created a creeping melody of songs. Lavelle has an ear for capturing a powerful narrative through epic-bound melodies, and blurry electric shimmers and driving tonal bass that subdues the listener. I am hearing sounds throughout the album that are so subtle and haunting, I'm afraid to listen to it alone in the dark. Even the artwork on the CD gives me the chills. Pick up this CD and let the nightmares begin.

"NOW I KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IN A VIETNAMESE PRISON"
We had our last regular season game for softball last night, and despite playing a team that only had six players, we got our asses handed to us 27-3. And this was after we scored the first three runs on the bottom of the first inning. I was forced to pitch the last inning which didn't really help make the score any closer. This was a tough season for our softball team. We lost 4 one-run games, all in the final inning, and we ended up with only one win in ten games. Playing in an all-men's league is a little different than co-ed. One of the things I love about playing co-ed was that when the game was out of hand, you can easily just stand back and watch the ladies field ground balls and run the bases. Even though most of them were lesbians, some of them were pretty hot.

THE THIN RED LINE

THE THIN RED LINE
I think for the most part everyone I live my life somewhere between sanity and insanity. It's a fine line that separates the two. I don't have an addictive personality, and I am fairly disciplined in most aspects of my life. So sometimes you enter a sort funk or slump, and you just kinda learn to deal with those punches. My soul is slowly drying up, I am running on fumes here. I still have purpose and drive. So here are a few things I want to accomplish this year (no flaking out):

- Create a sanctioned or unsanctioned art installation for Burning Man.
- I need to get out of dodge, Seattle, San Francisco, and hmmmm, New York.
- Learn to play an acoustic guitar, finally.
- Learn to spin some records.
- Improve my run times by 10%. Average a sub 8:00 minute mile for the year.

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS
I have definitely hit a rough spot in my dating life the past few months. I didn't want to discuss in my blog for fear that it would just get worse, but it hasn't gotten any better, so I might as well just rant and rave about it. Since October I've met four wonderful ladies that had some sort of potential, but every single one of them faded away before anything was ever fully realized. What really irks me is that each one of them had bizarre circumstances.

Part of being an adult is being able to handle rejection, and I think I've learned to accept that as part of life. Not everyone has to like me, and that's perfectly OK. I am confident and assured enough about my place in this universe, that I do not need others to verify my existence. So it can be frustrating when you meet someone, and you're trying hard to go through the process of dating, but they can't be honest enough to really tell you how they feel. Instead they have to resort through games like flaking out on dates, or just not answering phones. Trust me I get it, but what the hell happened to honesty.

So as these months of either bad luck or simply just bad connections are mounting, I had a date set up with R this Sunday. When she didn't answer her phone on Saturday, I thought I was going through another one of these flakes. So as I was about to give up on her, she actually calls me back and we talked. I sensed that she still probably wants to see me; and I'm at least more willing to go out there and give it another shot.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Homesick (Kings of Convenience), Breezer (Junkie XL), A Forest (The Cure), Golden Touch (Razorlight), Disco Inferno (50 Cent), Satellite (Oceanlab), Paper Tiger (Beck), and Turn It Around (4 Strings).

TSUNAMI BEER FUND

"Life is too short for cheap alcohol."

TSUNAMI BEER FUND
Everyone knows about my special endearment for Southeast Asia, so in order to do my part in aiding the Tsunami relief effort, I have created the Tsunami Beer Fund. I am encouraging all my friends and blog readers to participate in this helpful cause. I am pledging to donate a month's worth of beer money to the American Red Cross. This is a dollar-for-dollar match. If you don't drink, pick a vice that you have, whether it's strippers, drugs, video games, or chocolate. Please do your part for the cause and donate. Thanks.

MAC MINI

MAC MINI

For $500 you can get this revolutionary Apple computer. I have always been impressed with Apple and Steve Jobs for their innovation, but this is just incredible. I love my iPod, and I know I'm going to fall in love with this machine as well. I can be such a geek sometimes, but there is something that I've always loved, and that's gadgetry. The Mac Mini just looks so sweet. I want one right now!

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Staraflur (Sigur Ros), Rez (Underworld), Homesick (Kings of Convenience), Extreme Ways (Moby), Driving (Everything But The Girl), Lonelily (Damien Rice), I've Had It (Aimee Mann), Not The Doctor (Alanis Morrissette), and Flamenco Sketches (Miles Davis).

NBA HIBERNATION

THE RISING SUNS

Since Shaq left, and Kobe began acting like a spoiled five year-old kid, I haven't been keeping tabs of the NBA all season. I watch the highlights on ESPN every once in a while, but I've seen only one full NBA game all season, that was when Shaq and Kobe met on Christmas day. So I haven't paid much attention to the standings or statistics. So for the first time this season I went to check the standings, and lo, behold, the Phoenix Suns are 30-4. I had to do a double-take on that. That's a Jordanesque .882 winning percentage. And the last time I check Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and Luc Longley are all retired. That is simply amazing. Everyone is waiting for the wheel to come off the wagon, but it hasn't, and I don't know if it will. Is Steve Nash really that good? Is Amare Stoudemire that dominant? Is Shawn Marion and Quentin Richardson that incredible? Are pigs flying? Has hell frozen over? Perhaps not, but I did see Noah's Ark just pass by outside my window...

ONLY IN DES MOINES
A Wal-Mart greeter was fired for handing out his semi-nude pic with a Wal-Mart plastic bag. He claims that due to the cutbacks he had to create his own uniform.



Makes complete sense to me...

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

LOVE AND MARRIAGE
Two of my good friends announced that they have proposed to their girlfiends, and are getting married soon. Although both of them have been going out with their respective girlfriends for a while, it totally blindsided me. Geoff and Xaviera are getting married. Mark and Mary are getting married. I've known those guys for almost a decade now. I know pretty soon most of my friends are going to get hitched. Things are changing around me. People are changing around me. Or perhaps its people that are growing up around me, and I am refusing to do so.

CHASING RAINSTORMS

CHASING RAINSTORMS
2004 ended with a flurry of activities that left me tired and disheveled before I could even get to my New Year's Eve festivities. So let us look back at the final week of 2004.

- Went out with Mary on Monday night to an empty Hollywood Blvd, that's all I have to say about that...

- Liz drove from Palm Desert, and we hung out around L.A. all day. It rained like hell, but she was used to it being from Seattle and all. We later met up with Justin, Mary, and Mark, and we drank and played darts in a pub in Santa Monica. Mark and Mary announced that they were engaged (this will be a recurring theme throughout the holidays).

- Steffi called me and asked me if I can show her friend Anya (from Germany) around L.A. while she has a 6 hour layover on her way to New Zealand. I tried to show her around as best as I can, but traffic was atrocious, so I couldn't really show her much other than the legendary L.A. traffic.

It was very cool to hang out with Liz and strengthen our friendship. She has proposed that I should join her for Costa Rica during the summer. I am seriously considering it. I think Costa Rica will be a lot of fun, but I have to weigh a few things before I can commit to her. I don't want to say yes and have to flake out on her if certain things don't plan out.

New Year's Eve was pretty hectic and crazy. Stress started to take it's toll on me when I had to coordinate people coming in from San Diego, Texas, and the Bay Area.


Liz and I downing some suds at Ye Old King's Head Pub...


The Old North Hall Crew still alive and kicking playing darts at the pub.


Clare and I before our NYE festivities get on their way.


Met John Digweed at the NYE Giant's Village, and all I got was this lousy unfocused picture.


Drunkeness is so much fun!!!


Xaviera, Geoff, and I getting all warmed for the Rose Bowl game.


Geoff and Xaviera outside the Rose Bowl.


Xaviera and I celebrating a Texas victory of the Wolverines. Texas! Fight!


Celebrating the big win over Michigan.